The Fencer’s Song (to the tune of “The Lumberjack Song” by Monty Python)

I’m a fencer and I’m okay
I attack all night and retreat all day

I wear a mask, a leather glove
A jacket and lamé
In my dreams, I’m d’Artagnon
The hero of the day

He’s a fencer and he’s okay
He attacks all night and retreats all day

He wears a mask, a leather glove
A jacket and lamé
In his dreams, he’s d’Artagnon
The hero of the day

I’m a fencer and I’m okay
I feint all night and deceive all day

I parry four and circle six
I have a master plan
To be the greatest fencer
To come from Salle Duran

He’s a fencer and he’s okay
He feints all night and deceives all day

He parries four and circles six
He has a master plan
To be the greatest fencer
To come from Salle Duran

I’m a fencer and I’m okay
I lunge all night and ache all day

My knees are shot, my feet are numb
In traction I should be
Bear the pain to get the gain
Endorphins are the key

He’s a fencer and he’s okay
He lunges all night and aches all day

His knees are shot, his feet are numb
In traction he should be
His doctors think he’s crazy
And frankly, so do we!