Random quips, jokes and nonsense about fencing

What do you call a French Sabre fencer?

– A Hungarian wannabee

What do you call a Hungarian Foil fencer?

– A French wannabee

What do you call an American Fencer?

– Immigrant

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You can always tell what weapon someone fences by listening to their conversations:

– Foil fencers talk about the price of their clothes

– Épée fencers talk about the price of their weapons

– Sabre fencers talk about the price of their women

– Épée fencers talk about getting screwed in the market

– Foil fencers talk about getting screwed by their lovers

– Sabre fencers talk about getting screwed by directors

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The reason hitting below the belt is not counted in sabre is that it could cause brain damage.

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How many sabreurs does it take to change a light bulb?

– Eight: Two to charge at each other screaming, one to call the halt and four to abstain from making any claims. The eighth guys runs and gets someone to change the light bulb.

How many sabreurs does it take to change a light bulb?

– None. Sabreurs aren’t afraid of the dark.

How many sabreurs does it take to change a light bulb?

– “If we fenced dry, we wouldn’t have to change light bulbs!”

How many epeeists does it take to change a light bulb?

– Two, but they have difficulty getting both bulbs in at the same time.

How many foilists does it take to change a light bulb?

– Trick question; changing light bulbs is too practical for foilists.

How many SCA geeks does it take to change a light bulb?

– “A light-what?”

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Evolution

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Fencing clichés to avoid:

– Sword of Damocles

– The pen is mightier than the sword

– Between the sword and the wall

– On the fence