Olympic Fencing

One day, when the Olympics were held in England, Patrick, Angus, and Reginald wanted to get into the venue to watch the games. “Tickets, please,” said the gate attendant. “But we haven’t got tickets,” lamented Patrick. “Well, only ticket holders and athletes are allowed in,” replied the gate attendant.

So the three wandered down to where the closing ceremonies were going to be held, and watched some carpenters build the grandstands that would hold the thousands of lucky ticket holders that would be in attendance. “I’ve an idea!” exclaimed Patrick. Angus and Reggie watched as Patrick picked up a flag pole, tore off the flag, and went running toward the gate. “Hurry and let me in!” Patrick cried to the gate attendant, “I’m late!” “Who are you?” replied the attendant. “Patrick O’Donnell, Pole Vaulter!” And in he went.

“Laird-a mercy!” cried Angus, “I see what he’s up to!” Reggie followed Angus as he ran back to the construction site. Angus picked up a sledge, and ran back to the gate. “Hurry and open the gate! I’m late!” hollered Angus. “And who might you be?” queried the gate attendant. “Angus MacPhearson, Hammer Throw!” And Angus trotted in.

“I get the idea!” said Reggie, as he ran back to the construction site. But when he got there, the workers were pounding the flag poles into the ground with the sledge hammers. He looked around until his eyes settled on a roll of barbed wire. He put his arm through the middle, slung it onto his shoulder, and ran to the gate, mumbling, “ouch! ach! ooch! ow!” the whole way. As he approached, he yelled, “Hurry and Ouch! Open the gate! I’m late!” “And just who might you be?” asked the gate attendant. And Reggie replied, “Reginald Windsor, Fencing!”

By Doug McLaren, Schoolcraft College Fencing Club